WTF
by Wolfie2
Summary: Random happenings @ Joes, funny (considering that I think ANYTHING is funny...)


Wolfie: Hehehe, I thought I'd try my hand at writing a comedy and I'll force my   
incredibly screwball ideas onto other people, YAY!  
Kiwimon: So why am I here?  
Wolfie: Because I paid you.  
Kiwimon: But why me, what did I do to deserve this?!?  
Wolfie: **shrugs** Geographical convenience?  
Kiwimon: **sigh**  
Wolfie: Weeeell, I don't pay you to do nothing.  
Kiwimon: Soooorry, Wolfie doesn't own Digimon, or Robbie Willaims.  
Wolfie: Although I wish I did, on both accounts, I just added Robbie because   
ArchangelUK begged me to add his favorite singer... Anyways the show   
must go on!!!  
  
center ~~**~~/center  
  
"So guys? What's the big emergency?" A startled Joe inquired as all the digidestined, old and new, piled into his house. 'Except for Mimi, who was still in America **sigh**'  
"Weeeell, hehehe..."  
"What Tai wanted to say is" Matt continued for the former Digidestined leader "that we needed a place to hang, and well, here we are!"  
"Well, OK then come in and make yourself at hom....e...." Joe gestured to his living room, but as he did he caught sight of the other Digidestined.   
  
T.K. and Davis were on the three-seater with Kari in the middle. The two boys were grappling over the remote, Cody was sitting on the beanbag in the corner watching them intently. Izzy had hooked up his Pineapple into Joe's phone jack and started his furious typing. Ken was watching over his shoulder, apparently the two geniuses had another new theory to test out. Yolie and Sora were whispering and giggling about something. That's when he noticed Tai donning an appron and Matt raiding the fridge.  
"Who'sa hungry?" Tai yelled with a very poor Italian accent.  
"Me!!!" Came the unanimous reply.  
"Guy's can you take it a bit easy? Last time you did this it took me two days to tidy up"  
"Geeze Joe, you are soooo melodramatic! Just chill, me and Tai have everything under control"  
"I know that was meant to be comforting but..." Joe visibly shuddered, unable to finish his sentence.   
"Nowa you goa sita down, whilea the heada chef Tai and hisa handy dandy assistant Matta do the cooking." Tai ushered the reluctant Joe out of the kitchen.  
  
"Hey how come you're the head chef?!?"  
"Because I have the appron and you're the 'handy dandy assistant'!"   
"I'll handy dandy you Tai!!!"  
**SMASH**  
  
"WHAT WAS THAT!!!"  
"Nothing Joe! Hehehe" came the reply from the kitchen.  
"Oh, geeze, what did I ever do to deserve this?" Joe asked no one in particular.  
He slumped down on the lazy boy, next to where the now infamous love triangle was once again quibbling amongst themselves.  
  
"Look T.A! Soccer is better then basketball, so give me back the remote!" The channel switched again for the umpteenth time that afternoon.  
"No way!!! The are Lakers playing you uncultured git!" T.K. snatched back the remote oblivious to Kari, sitting in the middle turning an even darker shade of red.  
"Alright!!! That's it!" Kari ripped the remote out of T.K.'s grasp. "Whatever it lands on next we're watching!" The guys turning quiet, suddenly finding their shoes very interesting.  
Joe silently chuckled, 'Boy Kari certainly has them both whipped!'  
Fortunately, the channel that Kari randomly picked landed on a Robbie Willaims concert. Squeals of delight could be heard from all the females as they all scooted up to the T.V set.  
  
"I don't see what so great about him" T.K. grumbled as he slouched back.  
"I know, what a poof, look at him flashing everybody" Davis agreed as he also slumped into the couch.   
"You know, I just don't see how people could actually like someone like him, he sleeps with anything that walks" Joe joined in.  
"How dare you speak ill of our Robbie!" Yolie yelled, as she threw a cushion at Joe's head, her eye's never once leaving the television set.  
"Ouch, what did I do to deserve that?" Joe once again questioned.  
"Well Joe, you insulted Robbie Willaims, one of the great entertainers of our time" Matt stated matter-of-factly to three pairs of shocked eyes. "What, it's just that I respect someone who can entertain a huge crowd and do what ever he wants...and whoever" Matt added with a cheesy grin.  
"Heh, I was wondering when you'd start to make sense" T.K. said relieved.  
  
"Handy, Dandy Matta, GET YOUR ARSE BACK IN HERE!"  
"...I think Tai needs some help, well more help then usual that is." Matt added.  
  
**SMASH**  
"Do worry Joe, I'm alright!" Tai yelled out from the kitchen.  
  
**Sigh** "What did I do to deserve this..."  
  
Joe made his way over to where the two boy geniuses where typing away, no doubt testing some far out theory.  
"I'm telling you, there has to be some connection!"   
"I know, I know Ken. Look we have all the facts and examples, now all we have to do is piece it together without loosing our cool."  
"Thanks Izzy, it's just that we are so close, I can feel it"  
"Hey guys, are you testing out some new theory about the digital world?" Joe asked.  
"Well, kind of..." Izzy answered reluctantly.  
"Oh gawd, is there some new big evil digimon coming to destroy us? Is the digital world going to collapse? Are we going to have another big battle? Are..." Joe was well and truly in his freak out mode now.  
"Joe calm down, it's nothing like that" Izzy calmly stated.  
"WELL WHAT IS IT!" Joe exclaimed, his arms wildly flailing about.  
"Well..." Ken answered sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck "...we were testing to see if there's a connection between wearing too much hairgel and goggles, and a low intelligence."  
"Ohhhhhh...is that all, you two had me seriously freaked out! Well...ahh...is there a connection?"  
"Well if there is, rest assured that we'll find it!" Izzy struck a pose why Ken stood to the side admiringly.  
"Wow Izzy, you gotta show me how you do that!"  
"It's simple grasshopper, it's all in the attitude."  
  
Joe sighed as he watched the two 'geniuses' strut their stuff.  
  
"This is one I used as the Digimon Emperor"  
"Prodigious!"  
  
'I think it's about time I checked on the culinary geniuses, hopefully they haven't done any un-repairable damage..."  
  
"Hey Tai catch!!!"  
**SMASH**  
"Hehehe, lucky we weren't allowed to stay at my place or mum would have killed us, hehehe"  
**Cough** Joe cleared his throat to signal that he was here and that he could hear EVERYTHING they said.  
"Oh hey Joe, hehehe, good timing we're just about to start dishing up, where do you keep your plates?"  
"Top cupboard to the left"  
"Ohhh, was that ALL of them" Matt asked meekly.  
"...What do you mean 'WAS'" Joe was clearly getting irked.  
"He'sa only joking Joey"  
"Tai, I really think you should drop that accent, it was funny for the first, oh I don't know, FIVE SECONDS"   
"Come on Joe, calm down breathe, you're a happy little buffalo, you're a happy little buffalo..." Matt massage Joe's shoulders as he pushed him towards the table, shooting Tai a scared look.  
Tai was beaming a great big smile, this could either be very good or very bad, you could never tell with Tai...  
  
"Guys, dinner's ready!" Tai yelled from the kitchen.  
Rampant stampeding was heard coming from the living room to the dining room.  
"Why are we waiting, whhhhy are we waiting..." the Digidestined chorused from the table.   
"Ok guys, since we're all digidestined, I thought in commemoration of our past deeds, we'd eat off leafs like in days gone by." Tai gave Matt a triumphant smile while striking his 'I'm the competent leader pose', his hands on his hips and his chest puffed out. Izzy and Ken applauded Tai's efforts (the pose not the leaf thing) while Joe was quietly sobbing.  
"Noo, Leafy, what have they done to you?!?"  
"Ahh, Joe is everything alright?"  
"Tai, I can handle you cooking everything in the kitchen, breaking all of my crockery, but why, oh why, did you do this to Leafy" Joe questioned while holding the leafs close to his chest.  
"Oh, it's alright Joe, I'll get you another one" Tai said, confident as ever.  
"You don't understand, it's the only plant I'm not allergic too. Mimi sent it to me from America!"  
"Well, we can just get her to send another one" Sora said comfortingly.  
"Oh, yeah, heh, cool" Joe stopped crying and held out his leaf for some food.  
  
"Mmm, this is actually quiet good, what is it" Joe asked.  
"Weeell it's chicken and mushroom casserole" Tai answered.  
"...Mushroom, I didn't have any mushrooms..."  
"Well, we improvised" Tai chuckled.  
"Improvised?"  
"Why, I found this fungus type stuff..." Matt started.  
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MATT, DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!!!" T.K. exclaimed. "I'm extremely hungry and I DO NOT need to know what you put in here!"  
"Well it passed my toxicology test so it's eatable" Izzy put in.  
"Yes let's just eat this nice chicken and mushroom casserole and never speak of it again, agreed?" T.K. asked.  
"Agreed" everyone replied.  
  
Dinner was relatively uneventful, they managed to break only two chairs and Cody was the only one to pass out.  
  
Everyone made their way to the living room after they had finished eating.   
"Well that was actually really nice chicken and mushroom casserole guys" Sora congratulated.  
"I thought we had agreed to NEVER talk of that again." T.K. gave Sora an evil glare.  
"O.K., O.K., sheeze..."  
"Well what can we do now?"  
"I know Truth or Dare!" Davis yelled. There was a mumbled consensus that everyone would play. They seated themselves in a circle.  
"I'll go first because it was MY idea, Kari truth or dare?"  
"Ahhh, O.K. then, dare" Kari answered reluctantly.  
"I dare you to kiss me! Hehehe, YAY!"  
"I quit."  
"Me too"  
"This sucks"  
"I'm out"  
"Screw this"  
"I don't think so"  
"Adios"  
"See ya Davis"  
"I'm off" Tai said while whacking Davis's head on his way to the Lazyboy. That left Davis and Cody left sitting on the floor.  
"Well Cody, truth or dare?"  
"Sorry Davis, I thought that you realized that I wasn't playing either."  
  
Everyone was now watching the end of a very exciting T.V. program, which involved computer sprites trying to beat users who input games into the computer for fun.   
  
"Hey, what's everybody doing on the 17th?" Yolie asked out of the blue.  
"Ahh..." Everybody suddenly became very uneasy, whenever Yolie asked about stuff like this, it was usually a family reunion that she wanted someone to go with her.  
"Why Yolie? Another family reunion?" Cody asked.  
"Well actually, yes"  
"It's getting pretty late now, I'm gonna ring my parents to pick me up." Davis ran off to the phone.  
"Why don't you take Ken?" Joe asked sensibly.  
"Oh, him and Izzy have a YGEP meeting" Yolie answered.  
The boy geniuses struck their poses behind Yolie's back. They had told Yolie that they belong to the YGEP - Young Geniuses Expansion Program, a program that helps geniuses expand their horizons. But it really stood for Yolie's Geniuses Excuse Plot. Every time a family reunion reared it's ugly head, there was a YGEP meeting.  
"Lucky SoB's" Matt muttered.  
"Sorry what was that Matt?" Yolie asked.  
"Heh, nothing Yolie" Matt smiled back at Yolie.  
"Well is anybody free around then?"  
"Sorry Yolie, but it looks like everybody is busy" Sora apologized.  
"**Sigh** Oh well, it was worth a try"  
  
Davis had made his way back into the room.   
"Well Joe, it's been fun, you should really invite us around more often" Davis said with a smile.  
"Invite! You!" Joe spluttered and started foaming at the mouth.  
"Ahh, Matt, grab his legs!" Tai yelled.  
The boys held down Joe why Davis was trying to start a sweepstakes to see who would get bitten first.   
**DING DONG**  
"Well that'll probably be my parents, I'll see you guys later" Davis started to run to the door, Joe calmed down, the two boys holding him down got ready to stand.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?"  
"I'm here to pick you up, you ungrateful little b..."  
"But where's Mum and Dad? I don't want to be seen with you!"  
"Hmm, you have the honor to be seen with me, I'm the one who should be shamed, I'm just doing this because I got paid to do it!!!"  
  
Joe started twitching.  
"Tai! He's going to start up again!"  
The boys both jumped on Joe again, this time Izzy had to help. They were getting prepared for the worse as looming behind the living room door, with her hand on the doorknob was...  
  
Jun Motomiya.  
  
"Oh no..." Joe had gone into spasms now, one Motomiya is bad enough but now there was two, and it wasn't just any Motomiya, it was Jun.  
  
"Heeeeey, what's going on in here?" Jun asked.  
"Uhh, we were just hanging out with our FRIENDS" Sora replied.  
Jun shot Sora a look that would have sent anyone else cowering into the corner, but Sora had worked up a resistance to it. She did not take kindly to people harassing her friends, which is why she agreed to pretend to go out with Matt.  
  
"Well, I wasn't really talking to YOU" Jun shot back. "Hey what are you guys doing, eww, Joe got foam on my shoes, eww!"  
"Umm, Jun, what are you doing in here anyways, we're meant to be going, as in leaving, as in NOT HERE!" Davis obliviously didn't want his sister to be here.  
"Well, that's an interesting T-shirt Jun." Cody commented, trying to diffuse the situation.  
"Yeah, I get all the cute guys I met to sign it."  
"Well I suppose you would like me to sign it then Jun?" Tai ask nonchalantly.  
"Well, actually, no" Tai sweatdropped "You look too much like my brother, it's kinda, well, disturbing. Well anyways I came here to ask someone a question."  
"Look JUN, Matt's going out with ME now O.K.!" Well, Sora was as far as Jun knew.  
"Actually I wasn't going to ask Matt." Jun turned to face T.K. who looked like a deer stuck in the headlights of an oncoming car, just waiting for his painful demise.  
"T.K. I'm going on a camping trip on the 17th do you want to come?"  
"I, uhh, that is..." T.K. looked at his brother for help but Matt wouldn't look T.K. in the eye. 'Fine Matt, I can do this myself, I just need to tell her that I'm going out with some one else then.'  
  
T.K.'s vision turned into an analyzing screen, (much like the ones on DBZ).  
  
Target One:  
Name: Sora  
Status: Single  
Pros: Willing to help out.  
Cons: Already pretending to go out with Matt to save him from Jun  
  
Target Two:  
Name: Mimi  
Status: Single  
Pros: Good friend who doesn't like Jun  
Cons: Just a photo  
**Mental Note: Ask Joe what he's doing with a picture of Mimi**  
  
Target Three:  
Name: Kari  
Status: Single  
Pros: Best friend and incredibly cute  
Cons: Davis a.k.a. Jun's brother and Kari's stalker  
  
Target Four:  
Name: Ken  
Status: Single (secretly going out with Yolie)  
Pros: Hairstyle like Kari  
Cons: A guy  
  
Target Five:  
Name: Jun  
Status: Single (Well duh!)  
Pros: ...  
Cons: JUN  
  
Target Six:  
Name: Yolie   
Status: Single (secretly going out with Ken)  
Pros: Good friend  
Cons: Two words, Family Reunion.  
  
Yolie smiled an innocent smile at T.K. he slowly nodded his head in defeat.  
"Sorry Jun, but T.K.'s coming to my family reunion" Yolie beamed.  
'**Sigh** now I know what they mean by the lesser of two evils...'  
"Fine" Jun stormed out of the apartment with Davis in tow, Yolie, Cody and Ken had grabbed a ride with the Motomiya's (well Ken was staying the night with Davis).  
  
"Well it's pretty late now guys, don't you think you should go home?" Joe was now back to his normal self.  
"Well it is pretty late, we must as well stay here!" Tai grinned at his initiative.  
"Oh yay!" Joe sarcastically pumped his fist in the air.  
"I thought that you'd like that idea Joe!" Of course that had to come from Tai.  
  
"Well who's sleeping where?" Sora, ever the sensible one.  
"Sora, you can have a bed, Izzy can take the inflatable, I'll take the couch and Tai and Kari can share a bed, same with Matt and T.K...."  
"Why can't I share a bedroom with my girlfriend?" Matt asked, grinning like an idiot.  
"Don't push it Matt" Sora's deadpan response.  
"Well why do I have to share a bed with Matt?" T.K. whined.  
"Well you're brothers, you've probably seen it all anyways." Izzy laughed.  
"Well, if we're going to go with that theory, Joe could share a room with any of us guys!" The male population of the room cracked up laughing.  
"Does anyone else get the feeling that we're missing something?"  
"Uh huh" Sora agreed.  
"Don't worry it's a long story" Matt managed to get out.  
"Well I'm gonna get a drink then I'm off to bed." Tai said.  
  
"I got to say guys, this has been one of the better visits you've had" Joe said truthfully.  
"Does that mean we'll be welcome back"  
"Well..."  
  
**SMASH**  
"Don't worry Joe, I'm fine!"  
  
"TAAAAAAAAAAAI!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
center ~~**~~/center  
  
Kiwimon: Congratulations, you just made the world a stupider place, are you   
happy now?  
Wolfie: Yes, yes I am **does the happy little Wolfie dance**  
Remember to read is human, to review, divine.  
Kiwimon: Is it just me, or is the IQ in this room dropping? 


End file.
